Looking for compromise…

Merry Christmas and happy holidays!

Christmas was quiet, thanks to the pandemic necessitated lockdown our region finds itself in. About the only good news is that despite the restrictions in place across the province, small businesses have been allowed to remain open.

I did some reading, and some playing with with the array of Adobe programs I have at my fingertips. I’ve been learning a lot about them, and I look forward to what I can create.

Lynn told me today that she doesn’t want me moving my office back downstairs, in part because she is worried that if I do, and I relapse back into self-harm, she won’t be able to stop me. She doesn’t go downstairs very much because her hips really bother her on the steps, and she’s worried about what may happen if I get bad and a left to my own devices.

I’m not sure how I feel about her comment. I haven’t self-harmed in nearly five years. Still, considering my colourful history, I understand her concern.

I just don’t know what to do about it.

I feel like I’ve outgrown the space I’m using. If I’m going to stay in it it, I need to move the bed out of here, and and get some bigger shelves. Considering it’s usually my niece who stays in here when she comes to visit, moving the bed downstairs isn’t an option.

It leaves me feeling trapped. Lynn doesn’t want me downstairs, we can’t move the spare bed downstairs, and I don’t have enough room. I’m sure we will work towards a compromise, but for the time being it’s leaving me frustrated. I was looking forward to setting up my office and YouTube studio downstairs, but I do understand her concerns.

My mental health has been a challenge over the years. At my best, I’m great, but when I start sliding, I slide fast, and not so nice things can happen as a result. If it helps Lynn feel more comfortable, I will keep my office upstairs, but to that end we definitely need to find an agreed upon way forward. Be it moving the bed downstairs, or replacing it with a futon and bringing up a another bookshelf, something has to change.


One response to “Looking for compromise…”

  1. Thank you for sharing your struggles… and for writing about them so eloquently! 💫💕💫


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