Figuring out how far I can push myself…

Photo by Pixabay on

Well, this has been a week.

I’ve definitely been pushing myself hard this week. It seems like events and newsworthy activities have exploded in the region this week, and I’ve had a lot of articles to write as a result. As well, I spent some time attempting to make some progress on my assignment, and had various other commitments.

I’m definitely Italy feeling tired after the past week, but I’m feeling good as well. I’m feeling accomplished. I feel like I actually deserve some down time. I ended up turning off my alarms and letting myself sleep in on Saturday, as well as playing a few hours of Red Dead Redemption 2. I also got myself on the treadmill for a 2.5 mile workout, and took the dogs for a nice long walk.

I gave the editor a heads up on Friday that I wasn’t planning to do any work related writing on Saturday, and that I was spent after the last week. He said he understood completely, and he intended to do the same.

I didn’t completely get away from writing however. I spent a couple hours of Saturday afternoon working on my essay for university, and managed to make some serious progress on it. I’m not counting it as work, because I’m not getting paid for it, and I actually enjoy reading and learning about history, which Lynn doesn’t understand. She finds the subject fairly boring. To each their own.

As far as working out goes, This morning I hit the milestone of working out for 21 days straight, alternating between weights on one day and strictly treadmill the next. I did have a couple of rough days where I just wasn’t feeling it, but I forced myself to go through the motions, and I was feeling better by the next day. I’ve come to learn that sometimes it’s okay to ease off, and go through the motions. What is not okay is to let yourself come to a dead stop. That same principal can be carried forward with my mental health as well.

I’ve long had a track record of pushing myself as hard and as fast as I could, pushing myself to the point of exhaustion, at which point I would burn out and be completely useless for weeks, if not months. After the last week I’ve been cautioned that I was pushing it to hard by those close to me, and they were not wrong…but it’s different in this scenario.

Yes, I pushed it hard from Monday to Friday. Yes, I wrote a lot. Yes, I haven’t missed a workout in three weeks. However, the difference comes in the fact that I knew it was going to be a busy a week, and I deliberately kept Saturday as a clear day, so I could let myself rest.

Today is going to be relatively laid back as well. I have church, and then a couple of articles to clean up from last week, and some more work on my essay. Also, this week, while it looks to be a busier week, doesn’t seem like it’s going to be as busy as last week, allowing me to have some time to rest and catch up on things.

Instead of pushing myself to the breaking point, I am pushing myself hard, but I’m also easing back every so often so I don’t burn out. As a result, I’m happier, healthier, and a lot more productive. I still need to be wary though, as my mental health issues can sneak up on me. Still, I feel like I am doing so much better than even I give myself credit for. I just need to remember that, and hold on to that feeling.

On a side note, last night was a rare “blue moon” last night. A “blue moon” is a second full moon occurring in a month, which is a very rare thing, and once the cloud cover broke, I managed to get some good shots last night, checking out my new 150-600mm lens that I got after I got out of hospital, and I have to admit, I am not unhappy with the results.

The photo attached is completely unedited, and straight out of camera. I intend to go into Photoshop when I have some time and see just how much I can blow it up before it becomes distorted, I just haven’t had the opportunity yet. I’ll likely attach an edited copy of the image into a later blog post.

All in all, I’m feeling good right now. While the weight loss is occurring more slowly than I would like, the impact that the fitness regime I’m on has had on my mental health can not be over stated. The fact that I’ve made a commitment to workout over the next ninety days, and hopefully beyond, is going to have an immense benefit to my physical and mental health.

I’ve had to work like hell over the last few years to get to this point in my life, and I haven’t done it by myself. Lynn has had my back through everything. I finally got my health care team to listen to what I needed from them. I’ve also done a lot of hard work on myself. I’m getting to know my triggers. I’m getting to know my body, and figure out just how far I can push before I need to back off. I finally feeling that I after dealing with my mental health for the last two decades of my life, I am approaching the point where I can focus on something else for my next few decades.

I’ve got my school. I’ve got my photography. I’ve got my work. These are all net benefits, and had you told me three years ago that I would be involved in any of these topics, let alone all of them, I would have thought you were nuts, but here I am. I’m eager to see where the adventure of life takes me, and am grateful to have you following. along,


One response to “Figuring out how far I can push myself…”

  1. Good for you!Sounds like things are coming together for you,a lot of hard work but you are acing it!👏👏👏🙏🙏🙏🙏👍😍


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