The Writing and Photography Blog of Kevin J Sabo

I know I need to make a change.

I need to make time to look after myself mentally and physically.

It’s not that I’m in a bad place right now, it’s just I need to find the motivation to make a lasting change.

If I can get myself back into working out, I can potentially lower my blood pressure and blood sugar meds. I can drop some of this weight I’ve picked up over winter. Not only will it benefit me physically, but the fitness would benefit me mentally as well.

I always feel calmer when I’m working out. More focused. More driven.

The part I’ve been struggling with as far as my fitness regime goes is my motivation.

I’v lost sight of my ‘why.’

I was watching a motivational video on Youtube the other night, and that fact hit me.

For me, it’s not enough to simply do something for the sake of doing something. I need to have the ‘why’ behind it. I’ve been that way since I was a child, and the ‘why’ is what I’ve lost recently.

And that is what I need to find.

I have come so far in the last few years.

I’m working and in school while battling my mental health issues. Mentally, I’m stronger than I have been in years. Those are the pluses, and they are balanced by some negatives. I’m over weight, I struggle to maintain my sugars and blood pressure levels, and as strong as I am mentally, I DO still struggle with my emotions.

I know part of the reason I’ve lost my ‘why.’

Things have been going well, and I have been feeling good. I’ve been losing myself into my part-time work and my school. In short, I’ve been becoming complacent. I’ve been lost my drive to keep pushing myself, to keep bettering myself.

It’s time to push through the complacency, dig deep, and find my ‘why’ again, because I know in the end, it will only benefit me.

Kevin