Shifting winds of life

Today was a quieter day.

I covered the store this morning while Lynn had her table set up at our local monthly Farmers Market. The store was dead while I was in there, but apparently it got pretty busy after Lynn took over.

After Lynn relieved me at the store, I headed up to the hospital for an appointment with my doctor. She was pleasantly surprised when she found out that the reason for the appointment wasn’t mental health related. I’m calling that a win. She was concerned about my blood pressure, but isn’t adjusting anything quite yet, especially after I told her that my average is around 125/76. Definitely something to keep an eye on though.

Otherwise, it was a good quick appointment, getting med refills, and checking out my various body aches. My ring finger is still bugging me a bit from when I sprained it back in July, my shoulder is giving me grief again, and I’ve been having sciatic-type pain in my right leg. On the bright side, she seemed pretty confident that it was all musculoskeletal, so in theory making some adjustments to my workout and backing off a bit should help relieve the symptoms.

Speaking of doctors appointments, Lynn’s appointment yesterday with the specialist was underwhelming. Bottom line is he still has no clear idea why her enzyme levels are elevated, and he has exhausted all the non-invasive procedures he has at his disposal to figure out what’s going on. As a result, she is being scheduled in for more bloodwork and a biopsy targeting a couple of specific areas in the liver. Suffice it to say, Lynn is not looking forward to that prospect.

I can’t help but feel a bit frustrated. I know there is nothing she can do about the issues she is having, it just feels like for every step forward I make in my mental and physical health recovery, she is taking a step further back. I just hope and pray that these issues she is having get resolved sooner rather than later.

I know she’s trying. I know she is still struggling with her depression, her grief, and her own medical maladies. Unfortunately, there is only so much I can do. I can’t miraculously reach in and heal her. She’s doing what she needs to do. She’s going to her appointments, getting herself rested, and hopefully we’ll reach a point where this is all behind us.

My doctor did give me one good piece of advice today. She said that if I want to be in any shape to support Lynn through her trials, I need to make sure that I’m looking after my own health. Which means, I need to keep doing what I’m doing. I need to keep exercising. I need to focus on my work. I need to make sure I don’t overload myself. I need to play every card in the deck and use every tool I have learned Ito keep myself healthy, so I can be there for Lynn through this entire mess.

On a professional note, I had another photographer in the area recommend the photography show in Edmonton coming up in October. Looking at the speakers, I’m thinking I’m going to go up for it. The really cool thing is Lynn has agreed to come up to it with me! I do have an ulterior motive for going to this thing. I want to go as much for professional development as for challenging myself. Even as well as I’m doing I’m still having a hell of a time dealing with crowds, and I figure an event like this will help get my feet wet, killing two birds with one stone.

Despite the uncertainty with Lynn’s health, I for one could not be happier with where I am personally and professional. It’s been a long time, and am happy for the shifting winds of life.


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