This is an older post that I started but abandoned before publishing. I finished it today.
Today, I find myself in a contemplative mood.
I’m contemplating the British Special Air Service motto, “Who dares wins.” In a way this motto parallels my life dealing with mental illness.
I get stressed easily. I bite off more than I can chew regularly. Yet, I continue to push myself, despite what could be seen as failures. I push myself so that I can grow. I dare to put myself out there, to seek treatment, and to push myself daily. I dare myself to push my limits so that they can grow.
Ultimately, I believe it’s been successful. Case in point, my last admission. It was 8 days. That is the shortest admission I’ve had in years. No, it’s not ideal that I ended up back there again, but it is still growth regardless.
I know I would not be as far along this journey of recovery if I hadn’t dared myself to keep working, hard. If I just played dead, and never pushed myself, never put in the work, I would not have the growth that I have. I would not be the person I am today.
Dealing with emotional instability is painful. I’ve hurt many of those around me who I’ve tried to protect. I’ve hurt myself, and it’s by God’s good grace that I still stand here today.
With no challenge, there is no growth. I believe that without hesitation. Those that deal with a mental illness of any sort are challenged more than most.
That makes them stronger than most.
“Who Dares Wins.”
The mental illness survivors who get up everyday continually dare, and win or lose they can’t help but win.
I know this for fact. I live it everyday.
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