Nothing changes

According to the WCB shrink I spoke with back in April I am dealing with some permanent impairment thanks to the PTSD.

I don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse.

On one hand it is gratifying to know that what is going on inside my head is real. On the other, his opinion that my recovery has reached it’s peak saddens me.

At the end of the day though, it doesn’t change anything. I still get my monthly pay from WCB until I’m 65. I’m still working for the paper. I’m still working on myself everyday. I guess the letter and it’s finality just hammers home what I’ve known since a young age; I’m not like everyone else.

Between my being triggered yesterday and the letter today, it’s been a lot for my brain to absorb.

So, where do I go from here?

Well, I have school starting in the fall. I’ve got my part time job at the paper. I have the flexibility thanks to my WCB and disability to look after my health and not have to worry about having to work. I can work for the therapeutic aspects of it, not because I need to. I can work because it gets me out of the house and socializing instead of sitting at home on the Playstation. I can withdraw if I need to. In short, nothing changes. The flexibility that I’ve had before the letter is still there, and the letter in essence says that it’s not going anywhere. I guess that’s about the best I can ask.


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