A hand-up vs a hand-out.

So, some days are definitely better than others.

Today has been interesting.

I was called condescending, after trying to understand someone’s position. It bothered me.

It was also said I should “lose” the persons number. That also bothered me.

I try to support whoever I can. If I ask questions, it’s because I am trying to understand.

Everyone is on their own path, and God only knows I have blazed enough of my own trail over the years. I don’t begrudge people dealing with things differently than I do. We all have different ways of dealing with things.

Everyone has to do what is best for them. I know I do what is best for me.  I have to survive this beast in my mind.

All I ask from anyone is simple, don’t lie to me, and be willing to help yourself.

I have received handouts over my life, from my parents and others. Something I have come to realise as I deal with my mental health issues is that a hand-up helped me way more than a handout ever did.

I want to say, for the record, that my income is from disability and WCB. Those are not handouts. Those are assistance to live since I haven’t been able to work full time in a long time.

Someone giving me the push forward to navigate my way through problems myself definitely built more confidence in me than someone coming in and solving my problems for me.  Yes, as mentioned I have the income assistance which helps, but I have still had to do a hell of a lot of work myself to get me to the point I am at with this invisible illness.

In this day and age, it seems everyone wants a cure. People want the problem fixed without confronting it head on. Unfortunately, the ostrich approach doesn’t solve problems. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean the problems are gone.

I am happy to give someone a hand-up, but I refuse to give someone a hand-out. If someone is willing to put in the effort, push themselves, to get better, I will have your back, no questions asked. If you bullshit me, I will call you on it, because quite frankly, that is what got me through.

Thanks for following along.





One response to “A hand-up vs a hand-out.”

  1. It’s a tough-love thing! I say you’re doing it right.


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