Ghosts linger in everyone’s life.

Memories of life lived.

Memories of those gone before us.

I carry my ghosts in my memories.

My ghosts are the ones.

The ones I couldn’t save.

I’m haunted by flashes of the past.

I remember you, ghosts.

I remember how you died.

I remember telling your family

That there was nothing we could do.

I don’t think we failed.

We were highly trained,

Your injuries were just too severe.

Your body, so old, we could not push it going again.

I bore witness to too many injured.

I bore witness to too many dead.

I bore witness to too many families shattered.

Each time I bore witness to this

I cleaned up, I carried on

I got back on the ambulance

Never realising that each time I bore this pain in others

I left a part of myself behind.

Ghosts still haunt me.

I did not remain unaffected.

In time, I became a living ghost

With a shattered empty soul.

Today I stand.

I have begun healing.

I have begun exorcising my ghosts.

Today, I no longer straddle the line of living or dead.

Ghosts still haunt me

And I wrestle with recovering

My lost pieces from them.


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