Finding My Voice With My Writing.


Today was a significant improvement on yesterday, although that is still setting the bar fairly low.

Today was spent trying to work through the mess I created yesterday, and on the road to Red Deer to see my psychologist, and grab a couple things.

As for the mess I created yesterday, I took the Mustang to the body shop, who is doing up an estimate for me. Based on the condition of the paint overall though, and not just the ouch on the rear corner, it may not be worth putting through the insurance claim. My body guy is doing up a quote for insurance for a complete fix, and a we’ll make it look passable but show and shine days are behind it fix as well. If that fix is low enough in cost I am probably going to go that route. Besides, the beast is still fun to drive, and not bad on fuel. Now I’ll be able to drive it without working quite so much about rock chips and minor dings.  I’ll still look after it, just not to the extent that I was.

The appointment with M today went well. We talked about how I’ve been coping in general, and in particular about the incident yesterday. Also, seeing as he sees more regularly than my psychiatrist, I have given him permission to compare notes and maybe work on a joint treatment plan moving forward. We also talked about my mood irregularities, and how I seem to be good for a month or six weeks, and then fall into a depressive state for four to five months before recovering and coming up again. This is a trend he has noticed over the last couple of years since I began seeing him, and he figures it bears following up. When I see my psychiatrist tomorrow, I am going to ask her to speak with M and give her permission to share information.

Otherwise not a lot going on today. I stopped and had coffee with the coffee crowd at our local coffee shop for a few minutes this morning, and we talked a bit about how idiotic gas prices are becoming, and about how the town council meeting went last night. I’m definitely enjoying the freelance reporting, because it does get me out into the community,  and networking with people. The fact that aside from the weekly deadline, it is fairly stress free. I know it will take me time to perfect my craft, and that it is a work in progress, but I am loving it.

I find it incredible that in between when I graduated, and several months ago I did not write at all. This blog has been a tremendous outlet for me. The progression to writing for the paper seems natural, and like I commented a few blogs ago, I really feel like I am finding my role, and voice in the world. I know everyday before me is going to have it’s challenges, and some will definitely be better than others (yesterday for example), I think I am starting to realize some things about how I function, and see the progress. I am grateful to the followers of my blog for allowing me to share my journey with them.

This blog, and the writing I do for the paper has turned into a passion for me, one that I am every bit as proud of as my EMS career. Whether or not I ever return to full-time work yet remains to be seen, but even if I don’t, this gives me a purpose. At the end of the day having a purpose is one of the biggest things any of us in life can have.


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