The Writing and Photography Blog of Kevin J Sabo

First off, I want to say thank you to everyone who has reached out via comment, text, or phone call regarding my last post; the support means the world to me.

I do want to be clear, though, that I don’t write so openly and honestly for sympathy but instead to put a human face on something that hundreds of thousands of people deal with every single day.

That said, I’m feeling a little better and a little recharged today. The days off work have definitely been helpful, as I have been getting back into the creative side by attending the Adobe Max conference over the last couple of days.

The sessions I have attended so far have re-sparked my creative side and will hopefully help me re-engage as far as work goes as well. Thanks to a deal I scored through the conference, my tool access has improved as well; I was able to get the all-app package for Adobe, which gives me access to their entire suite of programs.

While I’m feeling a bit better today, I’m not going to lie, I’m still lower than I have been in a long, long, time; however, I had someone point out that my being bad now is still better than me at my best not long ago. They … are not wrong.

I’m still functioning; I have refrained from the self-harm and while the suicidal ideation has been strolling lackadaisically through my mind, it is nothing that I would act on. Additionally, it’s something I’m aware of; as much as this illness frustrates the hell out of me, I do have insight and I am able to make changes, work the plan, and seek intervention.

I do have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow, I saw my psychologist last week and will be seeing him next week, and I see my family doctor next week as well.

I know that what I am dealing with is just a ripple, and with time, meds, and support, I will get through it.

Thanks everyone for the support.

Kevin