The Writing and Photography Blog of Kevin J Sabo

Update: The reality of the situation

So tentative discharge has been set for September 10.

The doctor wants me to have a good couple weeks worth of groups and recharge time, as well as getting the meds figured out again.

I’m definitely doing better than when I was admitted last Friday, but I’m still feeling the lingering fatigue and stress.

I know I pushed myself too hard. I upset the balance and I choked on things as a result. The medication change in summer didn’t help any either.

This is the reality I face as someone dealing with mental health issues. I am no fan of coming in to hospital but I can honestly say it has helped me out of some pretty bad mental health situations in the past.

As frustrated as I feel about things, as tired as I am about dealing with these issues the reality is sometimes I need the extra support, and that is okay.

Kicking my own ass about things doesnt change them. They are still there, and after I self destruct, they still need to be dealt with.

So, I’m taking the time to work on myself, and get myself out of here and into another period of stability.

Is this my last hospital stay? I highly doubt it though I can dream. I can take advantage of what this world- class facility has to offer and work my way towards a future that doesnt include it though.

For the moment I am in a safe place, with staff who are at the top of their game, and well equipped to feel my way through the night until dawn breaks once again.

Thanks for joining me on this journey.

Kevin

Responses

  1. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    So happy to hear you are on your way back. I have commented before about how much you have helped me and again you have helped me. I know you may wonder how you can help when you are 3 provinces away, well I am going to tell you. I have mentioned before about my partner having some mental illness’ and that some are the same as what you suffer from and some are different. He has been stable with meds and moods for over a year….he is amazing! He mentioned to me a couple weeks back that he wants to ween off his meds, without the assistance of a doctor. I suggested it a bad idea and asked him to consult his doctor first. He hasn’t been to his doctor yet to ask about it but I hope they say no. Not because I want him to continue to be medicated all the time but I see you have had much more tools given to you and have come so far in your life that I don’t think my partner has started. He doesn’t see a counselor or attend any kind of group. He doesn’t still have any coping skills or tools on how to work through the hiccups. I frankly am terrified if he goes off his medication he will slip and I won’t be around to help him. You make me so happy sharing your personal thoughts and emotions and no sugar coated steps. I wish there was a way my partner could see how strong and brave you are and learn from you like I have. Kevin, you are an amazing man and I am so proud that L has you as her husband and partner. Thank You for everything you do!

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    1. thrutheashesblog Avatar
      thrutheashesblog

      Thanks for the kind words Linda. I really hope your partner is cautious where it comes to his meds. This latest slip of mine is partially related to a med change. Some people just need them, as unideal as it is. And regardless he should not be making changes without a doctors oversight. I hope he gets the guidance he needs.
      K

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  2. Eliza Avatar
    Eliza

    I love how honest and open you are.

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